


reflection

by hold_onto_your_heart



Category: Neighbours (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Panic, Bisexuality, F/F, F/M, chelly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-22
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-24 18:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17105963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hold_onto_your_heart/pseuds/hold_onto_your_heart
Summary: Chloe's kiss and drunk admission of love forces Elly to reevaluate herself and her relationships, but she reaches breaking point faster than she expected.(essentially sped-up canon grown from my own headcanons.)





	reflection

 

Penumbra rendered the room, highlighting the slight moonlight reflecting off Elly's eyes, awake as she was at the late hour. Yes she and Mark had had a late night - no school for her now after all - but it was nearing two a.m., an hour she had not seen since thoughts of Finn and Bea had kept it up, or since her party girl days. Now however, her thoughts strayed somewhere different. As much as she was outwardly staring at Mark, she couldn't look at him without a pool of nausea forming in her stomach, because she couldn't stop thinking about Chloe. And of course thinking of Chloe made her stomach constrict too, and her heart thump. Yet that was just because Chloe had asked her to keep yet another secret from Mark; the secret that would most endanger her most desired relationship. And that was the only reason thinking about Chloe made her sick, right?

 

Unfortunately, in this late hour she could not run from herself. The silence (aside from Mark's steady breathing, of course) bade no distraction from the shaky possibility she had to confront. That kiss with Chloe was not entirely devoid of passion. It was something she had enjoyed almost as much as she enjoyed Mark's kisses. And the only thing overriding her natural instinct to kiss back was surprise.

 

Such raw candidness stole her breath and fueled a sparkling tear down her face. Sickness quashed her bones until she required the support of the headboard, eyes averted from Mark. What did it mean? Why was she attracted Chloe now when she never had been before? And worst of all: did it mean she was cheating on Mark, and wrecking the relationship she had wanted for so long? 

 

Vaguely concerned she was going to sob or vomit, or worse, both, Elly swung her legs out of bed and planted her feet on the floor. While the cool tingeing her skin offered a sweet distraction, no more than a few seconds passed before her fear returned. As much as each step reasserted the fact that she was firmly standing up, she could not relieve the feeling of the floor being swept from beneath her. 

 

Reaching the kitchen, immaculate as always, she searched for a way to escape her racing thoughts. A few minutes of purely facing reality were too much, yet the floodgates had opened. She was sure she was doomed to think about this and only this all day long from then on. 

 

Yet to consider that was not the purpose of her late-night kitchen trip, she chided herself. Water: that would do her good. As she sat a glass down, another clink dimly echoed in the Brennan household.

“Hello?” Elly asked, her voice cracking despite the water.

“Hey,” David Tanaka appeared around the corner, his voice ever-soft. “Just got in from work. I didn't wake you, did I?”

“No, no,” Elly smiled putting on a brave face of politeness, “Already up.” She motioned her glass towards him, trying to emphasise her presentation of being okay, as if non-perturbed people were always awake in the early hours of the morning. 

“Alright then, I'll just head on to bed then.” David smiled back before turning around.

“Actually, uh David…” Elly began, faltering as she saw David turn back to look at her. Any calming effect the water may have had on her turned to turbulence, but she knew if she didn't do it then in the shroud of excuses a late night easily provided, she would not do it at all, and this limbo was quickly becoming one of the worst feelings she had ever experienced. “How did you know you were gay?” An awkward stare and then, “Sorry if that's too personal, I wouldn't ask but I have this friend and-”

“No it's okay Elly, I don't mind.” 

 

Elly sent a silent prayer of thanks to whichever god was listening as she set her glass down and leant her hands on the side behind her in a shadow of a normal pose. 

“Well I guess I didn't always know, I just thought I wanted to be friends with boys more. It wasn't until I was an adult when a part of me realised what it was, although a bigger part of me didn't want that.”

“So it was easy then, to blur the lines between friend and lover?” Elly hated herself for how searching she sounded. 

“In my mind, definitely. Does that help your friend?”

“Yes, thank you. Sorry again.” Self-consciousness took root as Elly took hold of her glass again, anxious to have something to do with her hands.

“Anytime, Elly.” Yet David did not go directly to bed, instead, he held eye contact with Elly for a few more thunderous heartbeats. His small smile exuded too much pity for Elly's liking, and if she let herself look further she would have noticed a sad twinkle of understanding in his eyes before he turned to join his husband. Elly wished she could have the same sense of finality.

 

Back in the bedroom, shadows reaching from their bed swallowed Elly up. Mark was undisturbed and the only evidence of her night time activity was the glass in the draining board. It was probably too much to hope that Mark wouldn't notice it, but Elly was sure she could rationalise it away. After all, no-one would expect  _ her  _ to be kept awake with such life-changing worries. Even she didn't think this would happen to her. Because she had always meant her compliments to her female friends when she said they looked hot, and she hadn't thought that that was anything out of the ordinary, but after Chloe's kiss and David's talk… 

 

More tears escaped in her frustration. Going round and round in circles wouldn't do her any good, nor would the loss of sleep. Settling back into bed, she lay as close as she dare to Mark. Their ring sat heavy on her finger as she yearned for him while self-doubt and loathing clawed her away from him. Sleep did not come easy for Elly.

 

* * *

 

Days passed in a blur of worry for Elly. Aside from the conflicted feelings she harboured for Mark and Chloe, she had yet to find or even start looking for a new job. Susan's impending court date loomed nearer, blanketing the Kennedy household in a zeitgeist of barely-suppressed trepidation. While the piling of stress compressed her down to her bones, Elly’s newfound free time allowed her to attempt to unpick her feelings. Not that she could get very far: as much as she tried her tangle of a brain blocked any epiphanies. Confusion still reigned, especially since she could no longer hide from the fact from herself that she enjoyed being with Chloe differently to how she should.

 

After too many days of her self-imposed exile from most of the street (not that anyone had noticed much, too wrapped up in their own dramas to notice), Elly could no longer be passive to the rush of thoughts keeping her prisoner. Throwing on the closest clean clothes, she strode out of her room, unable to hear Susan calling to her. Her dark stilettoes elevated her, idolising the woman on her quest. Hours upon hours of disjointed imaginary conversations still hadn't prepared her for what she was going to say, yet her set face betrayed no hesitation. She had to see Chloe, to get her out of her mind. 

 

Striding to the Lassiter's complex, Elly's usual white blouse quivered with her pace. No elements would dare try to impede her. No dog barking snapped her concentration; no background shouting of children could distract her. Elly wanted answers.

 

Unfortunately, Chloe was at work, and could be anywhere in the complex to the middle of the city. Elly was going to have to employ her detective skills or pin Chloe down by luck. Luckily, both prevailed: while Chloe was not in the hotel reception, Ned was, and he had seen her enter The Waterhole not even five minutes previously. However, his enquiries after Elly were lost to the wind as she immediately departed, only her coat-tails visible in her wake. 

 

Chloe was the first thing Elly saw when she pushed open the pub door: the blind spot in her peripheral finally front and centre. Chloe was enraptured by her laptop screen metres away, yet Elly was certain that she could hear reverberations of her heart. However, Elly's softening at the sight of her was undetectable to no-one but herself: she had reached her eye of the storm. 

 

Elly did not need to take even three steps before Chloe snapped her head up, her link to her work broken. Immediately their eyes linked: an unbreakable fibre linking the two. Chloe sat up straighter with a face full of hope, and even Elly's persistent dark mood could not sustain itself with her own heart a little lighter at the sight. 

“Hey Chloe, can I talk to you a minute? In private?” Elly motioned over shoulder towards the door: her usual motions in employ while her tone indicated little. If she could have focused on something else besides Chloe or her own pounding blood, she would have been pleased with herself. Keeping herself together in the days subsequent to Chloe's admission was difficult enough, let alone keeping herself together in the face of the woman herself.

“Yeah, sure.” Chloe face lit up. In a singular swift movement, her laptop was placed in her bag and she was up out of her chair, ready to follow Elly. Purpose was the only thing driving Elly then: she had to tell Chloe the truth. The truth that she didn't understand her feelings and she couldn't jeopardise her relationship with Mark, but she would be lying if Chloe's brightness didn't cause her heartstrings to twinge.

 

Lodging themselves around the back of The Waterhole, the pub and surrounding shrubbery guarded the two from sight. Waiting expectantly against the wall, Chloe fixed her gaze on Elly, whose impassive face indicated none of the turmoil underneath. She didn't know what she was going to say or how, so she inhaled deeply to gain a couple of extra seconds, as if such triviality was all she needed to order her emotions. “I know you said you didn't want to talk about this, but we really need to.  _ I _ really need to.” At that Chloe's face dropped, but before she could interrupt Elly powered on, “Because I don't know what I'm doing Chloe.”

 

Elly stopped for breath. Her heart was hammering and her blood was threatening to burst its vessels, but she could not cease her campaign now. Its lack of a goal past expelling the venom from her brain was of no concern to her, she just needed to make someone, make  _ Chloe _ understand that she couldn't do this anymore. “I don't know what I want, or what I'm even feeling! Because I want to be with Mark, I'm so  _ happy  _ with Mark…” She trailed off as her voice cracked with unshed tears. They did not impede her vision of Chloe however, instead they diffracted the light around her like a halo, as if the universe knew Elly was sure Chloe couldn't get more beautiful. 

 

And then it clicked. Elly understood something about this whole situation, finally. If she herself looked the way Chloe looked then… she understood why Chloe was powerless to resist the urge to kiss. It had captured her too. 

 

Intuition bridged the gap between Elly's next breaths; one moment she couldn't tear her eyes from Chloe's, the next they fluttered shut, the taste of Chloe's lips her new favourite sense. Chloe responded eagerly and suddenly Elly couldn't get enough: all previous thoughts were purged with the warmth of Chloe at the centre of her brain and the heat between them surging through her body. Suns rose and fell, their nuclear reactions no comparison to Elly's need in that impossibly spun-out thread of time. Instinctively Elly clawed at Chloe's hair, trying to pull her closer as their touch shocked her brain back to life from days of turmoil.

 

Abruptly the graze of the brick wall of the pub scraped Elly's finger: her hand branded with  the skin-deep wound of a much more permanent act. The thin line of stinging shot directly to her brain, ripping her mind back to the fact that she was kissing Chloe, her best friend, and  _ not _ Chloe, her lover. Icy guilt extinguished lingering heat as images of Mark's heart breaking flooded her mind, somehow coexisting with her latent desire for Chloe. Such juxtaposition resurrected her reigning abashment, which only grew at seeing the intensity with which Chloe looked at her. Elation and longing rolled over each other, spilling from Chloe’s eyes until they threatened to choke Elly. Her own shock at her actions (and how much she relished in them) was too much already, so she did the only thing she could. She ran.

 

* * *

 

Emotions and scenery swam in and out of focus for Elly as she tottered away from her sin as quickly as she could on her stiletto heels. Through the haze she clung to an image of Mark, of the boyfriend - fiancé - who loved her and promised her he’d help her through anything. Which, she conceived amongst her rapid breaths, meant this too. He’d understand that her problem, that she wants to be with him, desires him, but doesn’t know what-

“Elly?” The man in question called to her. The reception of her tumbling outside Number 24 were a very concerned Mark, Aaron, and David. “Are you alright?” Makeup streaks blackened Elly’s face as she stopped, although her panicked breathes failed to cease. This couldn’t break his heart, she reasoned with herself, not if he knew she didn’t mean it. Yet the words wouldn’t come. “Elly?” 

As he started towards her, she drew herself up, knowing she couldn’t touch him until she told him. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, we can go round the back?” Mark’s furrow deepened with every tear falling from Elly’s cheek.

“No, no, you go inside.” David spoke up. “We have things to take care of elsewhere.” He offered an encouraging smile with his knowing look to Elly: a gesture Aaron did not miss as he was led his husband down the street.

 

Elly tried to lead Mark inside, but her mangled jog was more representative of a toddler’s attempt to run than the stride of an adult woman. Flopping down to the sofa she begun, words as expeditious as her thoughts: “I don't really know how to say this so I'm just going to say it. But please remember that I love you Mark, so so much, please.” She was bordering on begging then, hysteria threatening to set in.

“Elly, what is it, you're beginning to scare me now.” He reached for her hand, which only made her close her eyes and grimace at herself.

“I kissed Chloe.”

 

He blinked. And then a sudden shiver flooded him from his head down: a reflex as if he could shake away their problems.

“I'm so sorry and I really didn't mean to, I just wanted to tell her that I don't know how I feel but I just… did, I'm so sorry Mark I love you so much please believe me.”

He picks up one hand and runs his jaw, a frown forming.

“Where did this even come from? Elly I don't get it.”

“Neither do I Mark, really I just-” Elly had to force herself to stop and inhale, before sobs overruled her speech.

“Start from the beginning.” Brittleness sculpted his tone.

“When I lost my job and Chloe threw me that pyjama party, she kissed me. I didn't kiss her back Mark, I pulled away. The next day she said she just had too much to drink, and I wasn't really convinced because she didn't drink that much, but I just let it go.” New tears shone on her face, her eyes blooming rose. “And then at the engagement party, she cornered me and said that she loved me,” Elly's voice petered out on the last two words, softening with emotions she still hadn't got any closer to identifying. “But again she said she just had too much to drink, that she is always this affectionate with mates when she's drunk.” She looked expectantly at Mark through her tears.

“But you didn't believe her this time either?” Mark asked. The house she had created so much love in had ice snaking in from the foundations up. He almost missed Elly's tiny shake of her head. “Hang on, this pyjama party,” he spoke accusingly pulling away his second hand from Elly's clasp, “that was the night before you proposed to me! Did you do that out of guilt?”

Elly shook her head more vigorously this time, tears threatening to fly. “I wanted to marry you because I love you, and I still do want to marry you!”

Yet Mark narrowed his eyebrows. “Did you want to kiss her back then?”

Elly gulped, trying to swallow her words that she knew she had to voice. “At the time, I didn't think so, but now I think I did. And I hate myself for it Mark, I don't know why this is happening now when I love you and I want to be with you.” She reached for him, trying to find purchase in the storm, but he pulled away as if burned. Horror crashed over her shaking form.

“And nothing happened until today?” Mark's raising of his head to look at her was a stiff movement.

“No, I saw she was on her break in the Lassiters complex, and I had to tell her that she can't expect anything from me. She knows that anyway, or at least, I thought she must have done but she  _ kissed  _ me, so maybe not-” At Mark's dark look, she halted her nervous rambling. “Anyway, I took her round the corner in private, so I could tell her the truth. Which is that I don't know how I feel, I haven't understood anything properly since she kissed me, but I'm with you and you are what I want.”

“And what did she say to that?” Mark asked, voice so choked he could have been strangled.

“Nothing, she just looked at me like she does, like she did before she kissed me and I- and I kissed her.” Elly's cries were faster then as she confessed. “I kissed her because I was compelled to and  _ I don't know why _ .”

 

Mark finally stood from where his finacée sat on the sofa, her own head rising from her hands to watch him. “So this has been going on for weeks and you never told me.”

“Nothing's been going on! I said to Chloe the first time that I didn't want to keep secrets from you, but she said it was nothing to bother you about! I didn't want to but I thought it genuinely wasn't anything to bother you about.”

“See that's what's wrong Elly,  _ 'the first time’  _ something happened. And even today you went to Chloe before me!”

“I'm sorry, Mark!”

“I should have seen this coming.” Mark's chuckle was a bitter one. “How can I be sure you won't go run off to her? Whenever I'm not enough?”

“But you are enough Mark, you're more than what I deserve. I love you, have done for months. Whatever I do or don't feel for Chloe isn't what I feel for you.”

“Isn't that the problem?”

“What?” Elly's stomach dropped as she realised that this was a losing battle. She wouldn't, couldn't give up on Mark, but it seemed like he was giving up on her.

“I can't deal with this. You may love me Elly, but time and time again you have chosen Chloe, just like you did today. And the other times you may have had good reasons, but I can't trust them now. Especially if you can't trust them either.”

“Mark-” Elly began, fighting the feeling of nausea in the bottom of her throat.

“No Elly, I can't be around you right now. You should leave.”

Shock paralysed her. This wasn't supposed to be how this played out. Mark was supposed to be understanding of her confusion, take precedence her love and desire for him and their relationship. The space between them stretched and time distorted, and ugly march instead of the cotton-candy slow seconds of an eternal kiss.

 

Eventually, Elly stood up. “Mark I,” she reached out to him, only for Mark to further turn his back to her. “Just remember that I love  _ you. _ ”

With that, she left the house, storming back to her own in a flurry of tears.

 

* * *

 

The four walls of her own bedroom were Elly’s only entertainment for the next three days. Television wasn’t enough to distract her; the images and sounds just diffracting from her instead, and she didn’t dare pick up her phone to do anything more than apologise to Mark over text. With the stranger he turned into, she couldn’t trust herself to do anymore damage to their relationship, although that couldn’t stop her fingering her phone for all three nervous days.

 

Another sunset, another day spent alone, save for the occasional trip to the kitchen to reassure Susan that she was well. Or, well enough anyway, as even the blind couldn’t miss the dimming of Elly’s usual bounce. Bea was out with Ned (enjoying what Elly had to stop convincing herself she had lost forever) and Susan was still caring for the Rebecchis after Sonya’s poisoning, so when knocking echoed throughout the house, it took Elly a few seconds to realise that it was someone at the door. The second knock jolted her mind back to her body her phone to the floor, Chloe’s contact picture falling face down. 

 

“Hey, Elly!” Chloe exclaimed as Elly opened the door to her: her blonde hair fanned out behind her like a halo. She brandished a bottle of wine in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other, her shoulders quickly slumping at Elly’s apathy towards her manifestation. “Listen, I'm sorry. I can't bear you not talking to me and Mark sure isn't, and I don't want you to be the one losing out in this when it's my fault.”

Still, Elly made no move, clad in her pyjamas and unkempt hair.

“You don't have to let me in or even talk to me, just take these? To make you feel better.” A genuine smile appeared: a rarity for Chloe. “I'm here as a friend if you need it.” 

Even Elly could see the pain Chloe hid at the words. But she could see the honesty and earnestness too. It was all so obvious then; she didn’t see how she couldn't see it before.

 

Once again, Elly didn’t know what to do. Her heart constricted around Chloe; being with her was just as clear as it was being with Mark. She wanted to be with them. Something about Chloe was so inviting, but she couldn’t pinpoint what. It could have been anything from Chloe’s perfect jawline - as sharp as her words - to her toned legs, always accentuated by her impeccable fashion sense.

“Okayyy so you're just standing there not saying anything, so I'm gonna go go now, you know where to find me if you need me.”

As she turned, Elly spoke, voice hoarse: “Wait.” Chloe paused to look back at her, and then, “Come in.” Nodding towards her side of the door, Elly led Chloe into her room, placing the wine and chocolates down as she did so.

 

Chloe stood in the corner of Elly’s bedroom by the door, as awkward as she’d ever been. ”Sooo….”

“Come sit.” Elly patted the bed beside her. Suddenly their faces were a lot closer together than either of them had realised. “I don't know what's going on with me.”

Chloe tried joviality. “I didn't think you would. You lose your job, your best friend kisses you, it's all a lot.” 

Elly licked her lips. “It's not the job, Chloe. It's you.”

Elly couldn’t discern if Chloe's face rose or fell: it seemed to have done an odd mixture of both. “Yeah, realising you're into women can be super stressful anyway, let alone when you're settled down like you are.” And from her continued use of fake joviality Elly could tell that Chloe's candidness was somehow still painful for her, despite how comfortable she was in her own skin.

 

A tear trickled down Elly's cheek: she had been crying a lot lately. This situation had little difference in that respect. “Oh! Let it all out babe,” Chloe once again tried a smile as she hesitated, unsure of whether to physically comfort Elly or not. Instead, she decided to turn around to the dresser, “I'll grab a tissue.”

Elly wasn't prepared for Chloe to dab her cheeks with the tissues, wasn't prepared for Chloe to be even closer than before. All she could smell was the reminiscence of Chloe's business perfume, all she could see was Chloe's sheet of hair and beautiful face. She couldn't help herself.

 

Clasping Chloe’s dainty wrist, Elly reached up and kissed her. Yet Chloe pulled away before either of them could fully appreciate it, tearing Elly’s heart with every centimetre drawing out between them. “Hey, I'm not going to take advantage of you in this state. You're upset and unsure Elly, you said so three days ago, and you're literally crying now.”

“No, I want you.” Elly pulled Chloe down again, closer to her own shining face. The doubts of the past few weeks were disappearing by the heartbeat, giving way to excitement and want.

“What about Mark?” Chloe breathed, nose bumping Elly's.

“If Mark was that bothered, he would have been here before you. You are the one here tonight, you are the one not pressuring me. You're the one who trusts me, who supports me whatever I do. I'm certainly sure I more than admire you, Chloe.”

 

Chloe’s self-control snapped. Their lips met again and again, never wanting to seperate, with only the endless night watching over them. The entirety of Elly’s attention was taken up with Chloe, her face, her hands, her touch. For the first time in weeks Elly had no plague of petrifying worries, instead, only sweet desire reigned, In that moment, it was consequence-free.

 

Pushing Chloe flat on the bed, Elly toyed with the waistband of her leggings, aching to feel more of her skin. Chloe grasped her hand, however, and pulled it away, bringing down Elly to lie next to her on the bed. “Hey, as much as I want to, we’re not doing  _ that  _ tonight.” 

Hand still grasped in Chloe’s, Elly propped herself up on her elbows. After many brush-offs of Chloe’s own real feelings, Elly was a little surprised to hear such candor in her voice. “Why not?”

With a tilt of her head Chloe smiled, brightening up the room more than any lamp ever could. “Because it would be too much. You’ll regret it.”

 

Elly’s harboured desire disagreed, but even she had to admit that they were moving quickly that night. After all, she was well acquainted with both desire and anxiety, and couldn’t be certain that solely desire was causing her fingers to shake. “Okay,” she said slowly, “But why would I regret it?”

And there was the uncomfortable shift. “Because I don’t want to the rebound girl, the in-between for Mark. Your confusion doesn’t just go away after a couple of days.”

“That’s fair.” Ely replied, squeezing Chloe’s hand while Chloe allowed herself a fleeting glance away. “And yes I’m scared, but I don’t think I could get through it with Mark.”

“Well it helps that I know what you’re going through. You must be terrified right now.” Chloe chuckled.

“I think that even if he did, he wouldn’t be as great as you. His initial reaction was to distrust me and dismiss my feelings, I can’t go back to him knowing that.” Elly matched Chloe’s sad smile with a hopeful one of her own. “And that doesn’t mean that I’m with you because I don’t want him, it just means that I’ve seen what I can have with you and nothing else compares.”

 

Chloe’s face almost split with the joy radiating from it. “Okay, but,” In her pause she drags the both of them upright again, hands clasped between their chests with her stare boring into Elly’s eyes. “Wait two weeks. See how you feel after some time away from both of us. And I promise I’ll support you no matter what decision you come to.”

“Alright, but won't that hurt you?”

Chloe's smile lessened a bit, although her eyes never wavered from Elly's. “The alternative would hurt more. Besides,” She said playfully, shoulders bouncing, “I've picked up a few things about being sensible from you.”

Elly laughed in reply before planting a soft kiss on Chloe's nose. “We can still have tonight, right?”

“We can still have tonight.” Chloe confirmed, leaving the moon to fall over the not-quite-couple, long legs entangled with each other's and hands softly stroking hair.

 

* * *

 

The next morning arrived as a warm blanket: summer heat finally gentle to Elly with Chloe's arms draped over her. Unfortunately their brief Roman holiday could not last forever, however, as the stirrings of the other residents of the Kennedy household scratched at her eyelids.

“Chloe.” Elly whispered into her ear tucked just underneath her own neck. “Chloe, wake up.”

A muffled groan was the only response.

“Chloe.” Elly whispered again, more harshly, despite the love blooming in her chest at every motion of Chloe's.

“I'm coming.” Chloe finally murdered, eyes fluttering open and bright. “I should go.” 

“Yeah.”

Elly's response did not urge them apart however; the pair bathed in the early-morning warmth for a few moments later.

 

“I'll um, shower at my place. Well, my hotel room.” Chloe said, her false customer-service smile plastered across her face as she dragged herself upwards, shattering the spell. Elly wrenched her arms back into herself, uncertain of where to put them. Lying with Chloe was as natural to her as the blue skies, but that awkward realisation of reality left her unsure of herself.

“Ok well I'll… see you around.” Elly smiled. The hairs on her arms raised at the sudden cold at the loss of Chloe. And with a wave Chloe was gone. Yet this time she didn't leave Elly with questions, but more love instead.

 

The morning passed in a blur for Elly as she rode out her elation. Yet every propellant is finite, and Elly felt dread and guilt replace her blood as a knock and Mark's silhouette appeared at her door. Steeling herself, Elly moulded her face impassively as she swung open the front door.

“Hi - can I come in?” Mark asked, his face honest but analytical as he automatically took a small step forward.

“No, uh, we can talk here.” Elly herself took a step forward, forcing Mark back and almost off the front step. “Susan and Bea are in.” She attempted a smile but it quickly fell as it never reached her eyes.

“Right, well.” He started, shoulders tense at her lack of receptiveness. “I wanted to say that I need to be rock solid to start a family with someone Elly, I've made too many mistakes in the past. And I need to be sure that you love me as much as you say you do, or I can't do this. But I'm willing to try.”

Elly remained unresponsive as she tried to order her frayed thoughts on Mark. A slight breeze unravelled a long sleeve down her arm. “And me trying would mean…”

Mark frowned. “You trying with me and not with Chloe.” His tone was sharper than glass. “I need you to be sure that you won't do anything like that again.”

Revulsion instinctively rose within Elly. “So you want me to just forget about it? After all I told you about how I felt, you just want me to cut it all off?” She rose her voice as her control slipped.

“Well we can't go on if there's a possibility of-”

“You don't think that I don't know that?” She pierced the tranquil street, her anger flying with the birds overhead. “Listen,” she demanded, bringing an arm up to her head image in an effort to ground herself, “I can't be sure about anything to do with the both of you without time to myself. This is difficult for me Mark, I have no idea what's going on with me! I really thought you would have seen that.” Her voice wobbled finally, but Mark did not appear to be any more empathetic. “Just give me a couple of weeks and-”

“Hang on, is that her coat?” He interrupted, pointing at the crack in the door.

 

Elly widened the front door, revealing the cream cardigan Chloe left on her kitchen table the previous night. “Mark it's not what you think-”

“Is she here now?” He demanded. A dark cloud settled over his features as he stormed into the house, balling the cardigan up in his fists.

“No! She came to see if I was alright last night, and I said the same thing to her as I said to you: that I need time.” Elly didn't want to lie to Mark, but the only thing that scared her more in that moment than his anger was what he would think if he knew that they had kissed again. His hurting wounded her too.

“I never would have believed that you could have done this.” His wrath turned into disgust when he faced Elly.

“I haven't slept with her Mark.” Elly voiced her last stand, voice almost broken. His refusal to understand her sunk Elly's heart - and the chances of their relationship.

He didn't listen. Bathing past her, he pressed Chloe's cardigan to her chest. “Keep it. I'm sure she can pick it up with the rest of her clothes next time she's here.” With his final ruling of resentment established, he strode out the door and slammed it shut behind him. Elly stood alone in the living room, tears finally beginning to fall. Before Bea or Susan could come to her aid, she fled to her room to dissipate her anger and grief in solitary.

 

Before the first confrontation about her feelings for Chloe, most parts of Elly were sure that Mark would empathise with her, would understand that she was struggling with herself. Yet after he had shattered her heart a second time, she spent the next two weeks truly nailing the coffin of their relationship shut. Any chance meetings with him were met with hostility from afar: even while ignoring her he managed to criticise and shame her. Chloe could raise her spirits in the brief situations where they saw each other: a friendly smile at the Waterhole or when their paths crossed at a shop. Her support ratified Elly even from the smallest gestures. 

 

So when the time came, her choice was clear. She agreed to explore something with Chloe. While unsure of what the  _ something _ was, she knew it was going to be promising. Chloe's love meant solidarity without boundaries or pressure. They agreed to take it slowly and keep it private, for themselves as well as out of courtesy.

 

“Hey,” Elly said on the first night of their fledgling relationship, “I'm really excited for this.”

“Yeah?” Chloe turned to her as much as she could while a lock of her hair was caught in the fiddling of Elly's fingers.

“Yeah. Different to what you must be feeling, but more similar than I expected.”

Chloe beamed in response. That night ended as many future ones did: with laughter, the two entwined, and Chloe's adoration returned at last.


End file.
